Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
