I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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