I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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