I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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