I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
