like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
