Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
