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is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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