If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
