All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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