after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
