I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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