Tell her she can't have a vagina
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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