I wish i was in the wii world.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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