The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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