I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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