I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
