No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
