Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
