I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
