idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
All the doctor said was why
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
