She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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