I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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