i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
