The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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