yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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