Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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