I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
