It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
