I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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