he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
