tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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