i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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