you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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