I swear she didn't look like that last week.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
