Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
