We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
