I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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