Four minutes until I can fart!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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