Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
