So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I deserve this hangover.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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