I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
