Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
