Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Pants are for mortals
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
