Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
