i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
