3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
