Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i think my cat just said my name.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
