I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
