I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
