jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
