i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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